Asta La Vista 2016

I know it’s only November but I am done with 2016!

For so many this has been a year of incredible loss and difficulty. Curve balls out of the blue and they just keep on coming.

Solid relationships have disintegrated, healthy people have become really unwell, jobs have been lost and are yet to be replaced, families fractured and so many dearly loved ones suddenly departed.

The numerologists would say that 2016 is a 9 year meaning that it is the ending of a cycle, that natural completions are occurring. A 9 year is supporting us to move forward into the new 9 year cycle with renewed clarity and less excess baggage so that we may start the new cycle with a clean slate. I’m not sure how much faith I put in these general systems of interpreting our personal experience but I do find it an interesting framework to consider from time to time.

Personally I feel like I have been in the boxing ring all year. The hits and heart ache keep on coming and I have been ducking and weaving all year long. Being a counsellor I have likewise witnessed many others facing heightened levels of challenge in their personal lives and most of it completely unexpected.

boxers-882716_640

This year has been an incredible stretch for most people I know. A stretch of faith and a stretch of strength, a stretch of patience and a stretch of possibility. A stretch of acceptance and a stretch of commitment.

So what do we do when challenge keeps on rearing it’s ugly head? Is it best to come out fighting again when we are feeling fatigued or do we tuck our heads in and wait it out?

How do we stay afloat when we have been treading water for what feels like all eternity? Where do we find hope when our usual sources have evaporated?

I have developed a few practices to keep me grounded amongst this years turbulence and I hope that they will help see you through the final weeks of 2016.

Growing pains are a natural part of life

Whilst the pain of life can take our breath away and even stop our heart beating for a while I also know that the transformation that can come from pain is powerful and profound. It is only when we resist the pain or the resultant growth that it becomes overwhelming. One of my favourite quote from Carl Jung states that “The most intense conflicts, if overcome, leave behind a sense of security and calm that is not easily disturbed. It is just these intense conflicts and their conflagration which are needed to produce valuable and lasting results”. When we can find the meaning in our pain we give ourselves the potential to transcend it and often uplift those around us at the same time.

Choose your internal state

There is always going to be someone who deliberately or unintentionally rocks your boat. I person-1281607_640spent years reacting to other people’s stuff until I realised just that, it was someone else’s stuff that they were playing out. When I recognised this I then had a choice as to whether I participated or not and whether I took that energy into the rest of my day. Now when someone’s stuff is showing up around me I am quick to decide if I want to take action or separate myself from what doesn’t belong to me.

Once I practiced this a few times I found myself becoming more adept at letting go and re-connecting to my authentic inner self. I no longer spent hours or effort on imaginary internal battles, focusing on what I didn’t want that only left me upset and depleted. This in turn freed up extra energy that allows me to feel inspired and invigorated and to create more of what I want in my life.

So choose your state or your state will choose you!

Educate yourself

If I was going into the ring with Arnie (pictured above) I would be training my butt off. When a new challenge arises I tend to research my butt off. I read, listen to podcasts and gather opposing viewpoints to provide myself with a holistic approach to my conundrum. Then I turn it inward. How is this showing up for me? How can I personally relate and integrate this information? What do I need to change or accept? This can be a confronting yet liberating process. Usually it’s that very thing that I don’t wish to face or do that I know I need to embody to truly move beyond my current circumstances.

Keep the faith!

Whatever it is that you believe in, God, the Universe, human kind or you, hang on to that. You may not be able to see the other side of the mountain yet, you don’t need to know thahope-1804595_640t it’s there. It’s ok to feel exhausted, frustrated, confused and alone. It’s ok to stop, have a rest and reach out for support. In fact it’s healthy.

If you have lost all hope borrow someone else’s! Find someone who believes in you and hang out there for a while.

You have survived this far and somehow you will make it through this too. Somehow we always find a way and even when we can’t see the solutions know that they are there waiting for you to find them.

Take Action

While there are many things that are out of our control there are still so many options available to us. Our first, second, third or fourth options may not be possible. In fact we may not feel like we have many options at all but there is always something that we can do. At the beginning when we are wrestling to win some wriggle room in our lives we might only achieve a momentary reprieve.

When we use these small opportunities as stepping stones, rather than waiting for a big lucky break that may never come, momentum starts to build and further opportunities start to reveal themselves. Sometimes it takes us onto a path that we may never have considered.

Yet when we are disconnected we take ourselves out of the game, our lives are on hold and if we stay there too long we start sinking.

By taking action we start to build trust in ourselves, we get to know that no matter what we will persist through the tough times and eventually we find our way to a much longed for place of peace and harmony.

Be deliberate in your intentions

I noticed a long time ago that the way the last thing ended set the tone for the next beginning. When a relationship ended badly somehow that would leak into the new one. When scars from old jobs weren’t healed I’d end up with new wounds in new roles. I learned to complete my endings well, tidy up unfinished business, learn what I needed to and let go of what was now in the past. To be grateful for what was gained and hopeful for what may be.

Last year finished with a bang and set the tone for the coming year. It caught me completely off guard. It knocked me for a six again and again but in experiencing this I have had the opportunity to perfect my tuck and roll so that anything that comes from left field might only make me wobble rather than fall. For the coming year I am already preparing, learning and practicing. Setting my intentions for what I wish to create, prepping what I need to so that I can be ready to harness the fresh energy of the new year and propel myself into a far more rewarding 2017.

The coming year may not be bursting with brilliance. I will be content with a slow and steady expansion of the good and with luck a serendipitous progression into an amazing new 9 year cycle.

Are you with me??? Let’s go!

change-948020_640

If you are looking for some support to let go of the challenges of 2017 and could use some strategies to set yourself up for a better 2017 call me for a free 15 minute consultation. If working together could help you realise your goals with greater ease than ever before then get started now and call me on 0419 101 665 or send me at email emiline@thenurturefoundation.com

It has been said that “the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step” (Lao Tzu). So take that step, get started right now and begin to enjoy the life that you were destined to live.

Emiline Duncan smile q

Nurture yourself, Nurture your life, Nurture your world

… Emiline